Dwight Schrute

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran. Killed twenty men then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp.

I have been Michael's number two guy for about 5 years, and we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like... Mozart's friend.

Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. Snare it. Then to keep it happy, you have to tame it.

Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair.