Moe Szyslak

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff is loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff.

Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.

The deep fryer's here! I got it used from the Navy. You can flash-fry a buffalo in 40 seconds.

All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him!

I'm so desperately lonely.